The feeling of guilt towards children is not strange for any mother, but rather a hidden companion who appears in moments of fatigue, making difficult decisions, or even in moments of break.
The mother may feel that she is short because she did not attend every school occasion, or because she asked for a quick meal rather than preparing home food. This feeling, known as “sin of motherhood”, is the result of social pressure and unrealistic expectations to be “an ideal mother.” What is the guilt of motherhood? And how can you exceed it?
Why is guilt common?
Many mothers feel a great pressure from society, which puts themselves with ideal and strict expectations, as if they should educate children without errors, and balance between work and family and care for themselves, all without negligence. And when the mother does not meet these expectations, a painful feeling is generated within her known as “the guilt of motherhood”, telling her that she does not do enough, or that she is short of her children, even when she does everything she can.
Psychotherapy is explained by Christine Cecoms, in an article on “Fava Conscing” website Motherhood guiltIt is the emotion that pushes the mother to adhere to social or personal standards. This feeling becomes suffocating, because it appears in every situation, when working, when staying at home, and even when taking a break.
Although some mothers put on themselves severe criteria, sometimes, to compensate for a lack of their livelihood in their childhood, pushing them to perfection constantly and criticize themselves harshly, feeling guilty not only stems from the inside, but also the result of society’s strict view of the mother’s role, which increases the difficulty of experience and makes balance more complicated.
Sisoms blames social media to feed this feeling, as it only shows the ideal moments of the life of other mothers, which makes the mother compare herself and feel inferior, although these images do not reflect the full truth.
Why does the mother feel guilty?
The mother’s sense of guilt is very natural and common, even in countries that provide great support for mothers, such as Sweden, Germany and Italy.
A study of 2021, published in the Journal of Specific Sociology, found that although these countries provide long motherhood leave and policies that help parents in raising their children, mothers there are still guilty of their inability to upgrade the stereotype “For the ideal mother..
There are multiple reasons for the spread of that feeling, including:
- Society expectations: Pressure to be “ideal” according to social standards.
- Balance between work and children: Feeling of shortening while spending less time with children due to work.
- Previous experiences: The effect of the manner of raising the same mother on her current perceptions of paternity or motherhood.
- External pressures: Comments of family and friends, or comparison with social media.
- Exaggeration in self -criticism: Seeking perfection and fear of making mistakes in raising children.
Signs of guilt
There are common signs of a mother’s guilt, mentioned by a report on “The Holding Space”, including:
Self -doubt: The permanent question about the proper decisions related to the child means.
Excessive compensation: Try to compensate for a feeling of negligence by pampering the child or meeting all his desires.
Excessive anxiety: It is the excessive fear of the effect of behavior on the future of the child.
Comparison with others: Feeling of inferiority when comparing the same mother with other mothers appears to be ideal in the eyes of society or on the means of communication.
How does guilt affect the mother?
The Cleveland Clinic Foundation explains the effect of guilt and tension on the body and the soul, as follows:
Increased stress: Feeling of constant guilt causes great psychological stress.
Relax prohibition: Permanent self -blame prevents the body from resting and enjoying.
Emotions: Like nervousness or anger, which may lead to a feeling of more guilt.
Emotional burden: Constant pressure to try to be the “ideal mother” may lead to severe psychological fatigue.
The effect on physical and mental health, such as: anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, increased heart rate, and the possibility of chronic diseases over time.
How do you deal with him?
An article on “Brian Sharp Conceing” is advised with a number of advice and strategies to overcome the feeling of maternity guilt, including:
Practicing self -sympathy. This is by treating the soul gently and sympathy, and considering errors as a natural part of motherhood.
Fashionable expectations Achieveable instead of seeking perfection.
Focus on the quality of time With children, even short and targeted moments make a big difference.
Building a support network From family, friends or other mothers.
Request professional assistance If the feeling of guilt affects daily life.
Doing breathing and meditation exercises To reduce stress and calm the mind. Determine clear intentions daily to focus on what is really important in the child’s relationship.
Customize time to recognize positive moments Small successes daily to enhance the feeling of contentment.
Caring for self In psychological and physical health, because self -care promotes the ability to better educate children.
The soul accepts defects And not comparing it to others, for each mother has its unique style of education. It remembers that the feeling of guilt does not determine the identity of the mother, but rather is part of her journey towards growth and development.